Dear Friends,

There hasn’t been much in the news lately to smile about, so I thought that this month in my newsletter message I would share some things with you that might make you chuckle. 

Try as I might I sometime make errors when typing and mistakes turn up in the order of service.  My proofreading skills are limited!  But I’m not the only one who makes typos and grammatical errors.  Sometimes these unintended mistakes can be very amusing.  I hope the following ‘bloopers’ from notices in orders of service may give you a smile.


• The serving Elder will eat latecomers.
• For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a crèche downstairs.
• The outreach committee has enlisted 10 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.
• The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.
• The Revd Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the congregation.
• The minister will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, ‘Break Forth Into Joy.’
• During the absence of our minister, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.
• Next Sunday Mrs Vinson will be soloist for the morning service.  The minister will then speak on ‘It’s a Terrible Experience.’
• Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
• The church will hold a bring and share supper:  prayer and medication to follow.
• Don’t let worry kill you off – let the church help.
• The minister is on holiday.  Massages can be given to the church secretary.
• The concert held in the church hall was a great success.  Special thanks are due to the minister’s daughter, who laboured the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.
• 8 choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and the deterioration of some older ones.
• The choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
•  Weight Watchers will meet at 7:00 pm.  Please use large double door at the side.

Keep smiling!

Rick

st neots
united reformed church

High Street

St Neots

Cambridgeshire

PE19 1BN

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